And that was the crossroads where 2 fools met...............

When you see a hot chick we say, I would tongue punch her fart box

and ugly chick we say, I rather jerk*** with a cheese grater

The word on the street is. ....

When viewing a hot broad "She has a lot of talent"

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes it rains

From Bull Durham

When arguing with the missus- "you're not the only one with a nice rack and a crock-pot."

When talking with buds about a break-up- "unless it tasted like ice cream and was velvet lined, it can be replaced."

And when $hit goes sideways- "I'll take luck over skill any day... Never seen an obituary that mentioned how lucky somebody was."

People like you make me wish I had more middle fingers

When I'm head deep in the engine compartment or doing some other laborious chore on the boat: "Wonder what the rich boaters are doing right now?"

"The only thing that works on an old boat is the owner."

When someone trys to sell you a line of crap , I was born at night but not last night.

You cant look at both sides at the same time.

Flower goes in the front big guy.