It was nice meeting you and your family, sorry we got seperated when we started running. Tom

Did spk1 have a drink last night or just watch all the other drunks?

Do you think if he would not eat so much, he would not have thrown up for 30 hours?

:evilb: :evilb: :evilb:

We re loaded it late last night with high test. :drink: It is still loaded now. I think I might go out and get a little FOG buster in a minute after I get the kitchen decontaminated.

He had beer after we got to Pappas.

Also it is good to know that Spk1 will run errands for you to Valero late at night. I guess Creed might have something on him. Creed said I need some Copenhagen and 10 minutes later Kevin shows up with some and didn't even, - No, wouldn't take any of Creeds money.

Something fishy.

Must be good Karma from the 3 hour tow.

On a different note. Boatman22 is no lightweight either. He left our party and went to another. The WET SPOT was spotted tied to another houseboat leaving Pappas at around 1:00 am. :evilb:

I am bored out of m ,imd:(

nothing on ebay for you?

I am watching a bunch of junk I don't need.

I wonder if Trouble Maker will hit the water today....

DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES FOR PRESIDENT


Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and
John Edwards were flying to a convention.

Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said,

"You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window
right now and make somebody very happy."

Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied,
"I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window
and make ten people very happy."

John added,
"That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out
of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange,
the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his copilot,
"Such big-shots back there.
I could throw all of them out of the window
and make 156 million people very happy."

If you are one of those 156 million -forward this!

Texan's in HEAVEN



Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We
have some Texans up here who are causing problems. They're
swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are
wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue sauce
and Picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts;
their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep;
they are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of
their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean,
and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom.
There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the
place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and
they insist on bringing their horses with them."

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to
call of my children. If you want to know about real problems,
call the Devil."

So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says,
"Hello---hold on a minute." When he returns to the phone the
Devil says, "O.K., I am back. What can I do for you? "

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems
you're having down there with the Texans."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said.
"I'm back. Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there
with the Texans?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this ... hold on." This
time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says,
"I am sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those Texans have
put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."

A man in New York City decided to write a book about churches around

the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working

east from there.



Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making

notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was

intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."



Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and sign. The pastor

answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven
and

if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the

pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in

Seattle, Salt Lake, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States,
he

found more phones with the same sign, and the same answer from each

pastor.



Finally he arrived in the lovely Texas hill country town of

Fredericksburg, Texas. Upon entering a church, behold, he saw the usual

golden telephone. BUT THIS time the sign read, "Calls: 25 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Father, I have been in

cities all across the country and in each church I found this golden

telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and could

talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute.



Your sign reads 25 cents a call. "Why?" (I just love this part)...



The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now, and

it's a local call."

I bet they are all still hung over from last night.

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe
courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and
fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't
been there for a while and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket
to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and
they allwent to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you
ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

Important tax reminder: Don't forget to pay your taxes...... 21 million illegal aliens are depending on you ........

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Joe told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike.

Ever wonder how the arrow on your computer screen works when we move the mouse?



Well, have you?



Now, through the miracle of high technology, we can see how it is done.



With the aid of a screen magnifying lens the mechanism becomes apparent.



Watch & enjoy!



http://www.1-click.jp/

Gambling Blonde

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrived
.and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll
of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
when I play topless."
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and
yelled, "Come on, baby....Southern Girl needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and- down....and
squealed... "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her
winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one
of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were
watching."
Moral -
Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all men.....are men.

The Spot

FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME....


For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads.
We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion.
The Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. Has recently revealed
The true story:

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.
On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see whether
He has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in
The United States. If not, he must take a job in India answering
Telephones giving technical advice.

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for 3 years.?

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment." and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, "Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 a.m."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., why do you want me to come in at 10:00 a.m.?"

This is a government job!" the interviewer says.

"For the first 2 hours we stand around scratching our balls...no point in you coming in for that!"

Australian Gun Law Update


Here's a thought to warm some of your hearts...

From: Ed Chenel, A police officer in Australia
Hi Yanks, I thought you all would like to see the real figures from Down Under.
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced
by a new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by
our own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars.

The first year results are now in:

Australia-wide, homicides are up 6.2 percent,

Australia-wide, assaults are up 9.6 percent ;

Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!

In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300 percent.

(Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not and criminals still possess their guns!)

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since the criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.

There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the elderly, while the resident is at home.

Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in "successfully ridding Australian society of guns." You won't see this on the American evening news or hear your governor or members of the State Assembly disseminating this information.

The Australian experience speaks for itself. Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws affect only the law-abiding citizens.

Take note Americans, before it's too late!

FORWARD TO EVERYONE ON YOUR EMAIL LIST. [I DID ]

DON'T BE A MEMBER OF THE SILENT MAJORITY

BE ONE OF THE VOCAL MINORITY WHO WON'T LET THIS HAPPEN IN THE U.S.A

good one

West Virginia Justice

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Logan, West Virginia. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and Registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop,
that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and Stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the deputy takes Out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

It was 1 heac of a day. It was great meeting everyone yesterday and putting faces and names together...great feast Jeff...After T-bone left us in his rooster tail we headed back to jeffs and saw some friends with their houseboat ancored by Pappas. Rafted up and listened to the band,drink till I was smart, and then played a pontoon to a house as he motored back to Del lago....Just as we were leaving Pappas we saw Big Andy pulling in we should have stayed...no I think it's a good thing we left......Looking forward to seeing everyone again.....:bunny:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps out at home, cooks, & cleans.


2. It ' s important to have a woman who can make you laugh and has a good job.


3. It ' s important to have a woman who you can trust & doesn't lie.


4. It ' s important to have a woman who is awesome in bed & likes being with only you.


5. It ' s very, very, very important that these four *****es don't know each other.

Subject: Number 90 on telephone or cell

90# on your telephone or cell
I dialed ' 0 ' and asked the operator who did confirm that this was
correct so please pass it on.

PASS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW
I received a telephone call last evening from an individual
identifying himself as an AT&T Service technician (could also be Telus)
who was conducting a test on the telephone lines. He stated that to
complete the test I should touch
nine( 9 ), zero( 0 ), the pound sign ( # ), and then hang up.

Luckily, I was suspicious and refused.
Upon contacting the telephone company, I was informed that by
pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to
your telephone line, which enables them to place long distance calls
&
amp;a mp;nb sp; billed to your home phone number.
I was further informed that this scam has been originating from
many local jails/prisons

DO NOT press 90# for ANYONE !!
The GTE Security Department requested that I share this
information with EVERYONE I KNOW.
After checking with Verizon they said it was true, so do not
dial 90# for anyone!!!!!
PLEASE HIT THAT FORWARD BUTTON AND PASS THIS
ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW

Let all Children & Teenagers with cell phones know of this scan

Warning - Do Not Order Mexican Viagra !

Important Bulletin
Many men are buying "black market" Viagra pills
from Mexican mail-order drug stores.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that
several of these pharmacies are mixing the Viagra with
ground up Mexican Jumping Beans.

The results can be horrible.
Here is what you get when you combine Viagra
with Mexican Jumping Beans.


(Scroll down...)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.





Pass this on. Too funny, to not share a laugh

Not unless he takes goggles and a rain suite.

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.

The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.

The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer." The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.


The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story.

You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"
</ U>
The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!

If you believe that God answers prayers then pass this on. God bless!

READ EACH SENTENCE SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT.





Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who really make you mad sometimes and to the people whose lives you want to be in!!!

And send it back to the person who sent it to you if they mean something to you!! Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

Do not break this, please. There is no cost, but lots of rewards....

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."



ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

I am checking to calender and scheduling a date for round 2 :drink: :cool:

did i give you enough to read?

That sucks...

A bit of history, Interesting.
>
>
> Our Social Security
>
>
> Many years ago in Seattle, two wonderful neighbors,
> Elliott and Patty
> Roosevelt came to my home to swim on a regular
> basis. They were a great couple
> full of laughter and stories that today I continue
> to marvel at. Both are now
> deceased, but their stories remain.
> During the years of our friendship we had many, many
> discussions about
> Elliott's parents (President Franklin D. and Eleanor
> Roosevelt) and how his father
> and mother never intended for the Social Security
> and Welfare programs to
> turn out the way they are today Elliott used to say
> that if his parents
> returned to earth and saw what the politicians had
> done to their programs they
> would have burned all of them in hell.
> _____________________________________________
> Franklin Roosevelt, a Democrat, introduced the
> Social Security (FICA)
> Program. He promised:
>
> 1.) That participation in the Program would be
> completely voluntary,
>
> 2.) That the participants would only have to pay
> 1% of the first $1,400 of their annual
> incomes into the Program,
>
> 3.) That the money the participants elected to put
> into the Program would be deductible from
> their income for tax purposes each year,
>
> 4.) That the money the participants put into the
> independent "Trust Fund" rather than into the
> General operating fund, and therefore, would
> only be used to fund the Social Security
> Retirement Program, and no other
> Government program, and,
>
> 5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees
> would never be taxed as income.
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
> -----------------------
> Since many of us have paid into FICA for years and
> are now receiving a
> Social Security check every month -- and then
> finding that we are getting taxed on
> 85% of the money we paid to the Federal government
> to "put away" -- you may
> be interested in the following:
>
-------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from
> the independent "Trust
> Fund" and put it into the
> General fund so that Congress could spend it?
>
> A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically
> controlled House and Senate.
>
>
------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax
> deduction for Social
> Security (FICA) withholding?
>
> A: The Democratic Party.
>
>
------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social
> Security annuities?
>
> A: The Democratic Party, with Al Gore casting the
> "tie-breaking" deciding
> vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice
> President of the U.S.
>
>
------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving
> annuity payments to immigrants?
>
> AND MY FAVORITE:
>
> A: That's right! Jimmy Carter and the Democratic
> Party. Immigrants moved
> into this country, and at age 65, began to receive
> Social Security payments!
> The Democratic Party gave these payments to them,
> even though they never paid
> a dime into it!
>
>
------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Then, after doing all this lying and thieving and
> violating of the original
> contract (FICA), the Democrats turn around and tell
> you that the Republicans
> want to take your Social Security away!
>
> And the worst part about it is uninformed citizens
> believe it!
> ==============================================
> If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of
> awareness will be planted and
> maybe changes will evolve.
> Maybe not, some Democrats are awfully sure of what
> isn't so.
>
> But it's worth a try. How many people can YOU send
> this to?
>
> Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.
>
> Forward this E-mail to others so that they can be
> informed of the truth

The pontiac is still here. Tom, what can I get for it? I cut you in on your usuall comission.

I am trying to work, but I need a nap.

:chimp: :chimp:

Will some one please fu(kin explain to me. When you are sitting in a new car on the showroom, why they feel the need to test the horn??? Do horns generaly fail. For what reason what so ever would they not work on a brand new car???